You Mean You Really Don't Hate Everyone?
by Erik Thomas Stephans
Summary: Slash, OCxSM, Body Swap fic. 'Scorpius felt strange as he woke up that morning, feeling very out of place in the oddest way Ifrin Smith, who, at the moment was staring in the mirror in the Slytherin dorms, was having very similar thoughts.'


**Disclaimer and Author Notes:** Harry Potter is Copyrighted by J. K. Rowling, although the_ characterisation_ of Scorpius (Gaius Julius) Malfoy belongs to me (so do his middle names, which I took from Caesar), and Ifrin Smith is an _original character_ created by my good friend, Moogle (Boogum on here). Both characters were originally made for the RPG on her site (Enchanted Sanctum)-- you can review and ask for the link, if you'd like -- where Moogle has responded to the challenge that I made her (her first slash fic!). Hers was really rather good for a first timer's! If you enjoy this one, do go check out hers! I must warn you, however, that neither of these characters are gay in the RPG. (And I just so totally copied and pasted this from your fic, Moogle!! -smirks- Although, I did edit it heavily, since that whole first-time-slash thing most certainly does _not_ apply to me -- all I write is slash!)

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**Here are the rules to the challenge:**

1: Ifrin and Scorpius switch bodies for a day. You can decide how it happens.  
2: There has to be at least one encounter for each character where a friend thinks they are the other person, and a rather sticky situation arises.  
3: The two must be caught in a compromising position (while trying to get their bodies back, not because of any romantic feelings) you can decide how that happens.  
4: It must be humour!!  
5: You can make it slash if you wish.

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_**One-Shot:**_

**You Mean You Really Don't Hate Everyone?**

Scorpius felt strange as he woke up that morning, feeling very out of place in the oddest way. Yawning, then doing his morning routine of stretches, he slowly took in the different surroundings that he found himself in. A chilling shock ran through him as he finally made out where he was: Ravenclaw Common Room. The sinking feeling in his stomach and his heart was a very horrid and terrible realization to him. "Oh, shit!" was all that he could say at the moment.

Looking all around himself quicky, making sure that no one was watching him, he managed to sneak into the bathroom to examine his appearance. While he was relatively the same height, these hands were not his, and the lack of horns and a tail were a rather large clue to him that something was very off, indeed. Upon seeing the reflection of the face he wore in the mirror, he let out a silent scream as he backed away slowly. "Dear Salazar," he whispered, facing the glass again, his unfamiliar hand pressing against the cool surface. "I'm Ifrin Smith!" He couldn't believe he was stuck in the very body of the person that he hated the most -- not to forget that Ifrin Smith was the person that hated him the most in the entire school, as well.

He had to admit that Ifrin was rather attractive for a boy, but Scorpius wasn't particularly concerned about things like that at the moment. His biggest concern was how he should get himself out of this situation that he was in. The only way to do that was to have a conversation with the person currently residing in his body.

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Ifrin Smith, who, at the moment was staring in the mirror in the Slytherin dorms, was having very similar thoughts. He'd always been fascinated with the fact that Scorpius had horns, but he never been so close to them as he was at the moment. Knowing that he might not get another chance to do this, Ifrin's hands rose slowly to the horns that framed the face of the body he now possessed, his fingers running over every ridge and curve down to the very ends from the base of the horns. Fascinatingly enough, which was a rather acute surprise to him, was that the base of each horn felt as if there was a bundle of highly-sensitive nerves that would shoot shivers down his spine as his fingers roamed that area.

He'd pulled on Scorpius' horns when the Slytherin had first grown them in, which might have cause such a surge of... something, that would have shocked the younger man's body.

After he'd finished thinking on the horns, Ifrin's fingers felt down his spine, to the base of the leathery, black, spaded tail that was attached to the bottom of the cord. Just a slight flick of his own touch sent waves of pleasure throughout his body. Moaning slightly, he was infinitely glad that he was not Scorpius. At the moment, however, he was the one that possessed the Malfoy's body, and he'd have to put up with all the little nuances that it came with.

Cursing himself for messing around, Ifrin rushed to get in the shower so that he wouldn't be late for any of his classes. Speaking of which, he had no idea what classes that Malfoy was taking! SHIT!

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Meanwhile, Scorpius was rummaging through everything in Ifrin's trunk, looking for the schedule that they all got at the beginning of the year. He_ hated_ how messy this Ravenclaw was – no wonder he seemed so out of it! Finally finding the bloody sheet of paper that contained something akin to grace shinning down upon him, Scorpius was approached by another Ravenclaw that was in the room, asking why he was making so much commotion so early in the morning.

"I…I," Scorpius froze, uncertain of what to respond with to the boy. What would Ifrin do? "Damnit, man, I'm just rechecking my schedule to make sure I'm not going to the wrong classes every day! You know how disorganized I am, so what are you going on about?"

The Malfoy's heart was beating heavily and rapidly, hammering on his ribs. He hoped that it was the right thing to say -- he prayed to Death, with all of His wisdom, that he was in the right. Due to intervention of Fate or some other outside force, it seemed as though Scorpius had chosen the right way to address the Ravenclaw to get himself out of immediate trouble. When he was all prepared, Scorpius went to take a shower, cringing inwardly that he'd have to see what Ifrin looked like under his clothes. He didn't really like other people, men even less!

Once Scorpius dis-robed himself, however, he couldn't help but look down at the body he was in. A flush of heat rose in his cheeks as he examined the well-trained body of a seventh year quid ditch player. Not even once had he gotten so turned on by another person's mere looks -- but, _dear Salazar_, (he hated to admit it), but Ifrin Smith was handsome for a guy! Berating himself internally, Scorpius continued with the shower, trying not to think too much on what he was doing.

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Ifrin finally found it! It was the list of the classes that Malfoy was taking. "Thank you, Merlin… thank you, thank you," he whispered. No one in the dorms even bothered to pay any attention to him, thank Merlin -- again! The gods finally decided to smile down upon him and grant him some good luck, at last.

Clutching the sheet to his chest, Ifrin then folded the wonderful paper up, placing it into the robe pocket. Malfoy was a strange individual, since the man didn't even bother to put on a shirt underneath the thick robes, despite it was nearing the middle of the winter season. Just less than a week away, even, was the holiday break that almost everyone was anticipating. He just hoped that he'd be able to get his own body back by the time that he went home -- otherwise, he'd have to spend the entire time with the Malfoys! _Ugh, what an awful thought, indeed!_

He headed out to his first class, Potions, with Mrs. Malfoy, herself. Oh, how wonderful -- he was expected to do so well, since Scorpius' own mother was the professor, since he was in the younger man's body. At least he'd already taken the classes that Malfoy had, unlike the other way around. Ifrin prayed to the very gods that had just blessed him with his luck to help that blasted Malfoy long enough to get through the day, keeping up appearances, for his sake.

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There was enough chaos by the time lunch rolled around, Scorpius could almost feel his head spinning. He was glad that he wasn't in his own body, otherwise, the spells he'd encountered in Defence would have injured him rather badly. Being in Ifrin's body, therefore, had been a great relief to Scorpius, at least until he realized the next class was Transfiguration with Slytherins. He'd initially gotten excited, but then felt his heart drop again when he remembered that Ifrin and he were a year apart. He'd been able to make it through the class, but not without someone mistaking him for himself (Scorpius Gaius Julius Malfoy, that is) -- the teacher! It'd been a very close call, but the Necromancer managed to convince the teacher that he was just having a rather bad day. His excuse, of course, had been that he didn't sleep well -- which, was a complete, utter lie.

Scorpius was dreading the classes that he had after lunch, until he saw that the only thing that Ifrin had down for after lunch… was, well, nothing! Oh, how nice it was to be a seventh year, being able to narrow down all the courses to the ones that you only needed to go on for the career that you were going to have.

Having that taken care of, Scorpius' next goal was to find his own body. It was found soon enough, as he saw a weary looking version of himself enter the hall. Oh, no… he dreaded to find out what had happened in his own classes. He'd only had Double Potions with his mother in the first part of the day, today.

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Once Ifrin had finished the majority of his lunch, he was getting all sorts of stares. One gal even had the gall to ask him if he was really Ifrin Smith, just in the body of Scorpius Malfoy! Although it was disturbingly true, he did what he knew Malfoy would have done in his place -- just glare and scowl, the problem will solve itself, if you just do that.

He saw Scorpius coming over (in his own body), glad that the younger man had done so, freeing him from sitting at the Slytherin table for any longer than he had to. Ifrin knew that he'd hated Slytherins for a perfectly good reason: they always were staring at him, acting like he was the one that was completely off-kilter.

The Malfoy ended up taking him to an empty classroom in the dungeons, saying that no one would find them here, even if they tried. Suddenly, Ifrin found himself pinned to the ground, his own face staring down at him, uncharacteristically set in a very serious look. The kiss had been an accident, despite the fact that the allure was so heavily affecting both of them. Ifrin dully noted that Scorpius, rather fittingly, tasted strongly like fresh mint. Scorpius had pulled away before Ifrin had managed to moan from the pleasure, despite hating the other. Was that the oddest thing, or was he just loosing his mind?!

"I apologize," he heard, his own voice as quite as Malfoy's usually was. "It's because I still have the Allure, that you and I… well, _you know_!" he ended rather awkwardly. "If you didn't know, I'm an Incubus."

"Oh," was all Ifrin could manage.

"I wanted to try to see if just proximity could switch us back, apparently not."

"What do you think will?"

"Even closer proximity than a kiss, obviously."

"You… you want to do--" Ifrin swallowed, "_that… here_?! Are you crazy?"

"No, we'll do it tonight, since then not many people will think of the two of us going off for some rendezvous in the middle of the night, we'll be fine."

"I see…. Where, then?"

"How about in the Room of Requirement?" A pause here, then continuing on, "You know what that is, _right_?"

"Hey! I'm not the idiot you try to make me out to be, Malfoy!"

"Fine, whatever you'd like to crack yourself up to being."

With that, the two rivals parted, keeping themselves off thoughts concerning what they'd have to do that night. As the hours drew on, nearing the appointed time, they both found themselves strangely overly-nervous and a bit uneasy. What if someone did end up finding them? Not taking into account how far off chances that it would happen, they only thought of what might go wrong.

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Finally, the time came when Scorpius and Ifrin both found themselves sitting in the Room of Requirement, sitting next to each other unwillingly. Scorpius was the first to make any sort of move, only after quite a quantity of time had passed between them. They could hear, almost feel, each other's hearts slamming down with each great "thud" of the heart pumping oxygenated blood through their veins, throughout their bodies.

Would this really work?

They looked at each other, trying to measure the other's worth. Soon, however, this just turned into a hate-filled staring match. The first, of course, to blink and look away was Ifrin, since he just couldn't seem to look into his own eyes, frozen over with the icy glare Malfoy seemed to be an expert at.

"Well, are you going to start, or not?!" Ifrin raged, impatient and wanting more than anything else, just to get this over and out of the way.

"Me? Why does it have to be me?" Scorpius returned, cocking an attitude with the other.

"I don't know, you just seem to be the one that knows more about this whole situation."

"I'd be the one to think you would be more knowledgeable about this _situation_, Smith."

"What situation are _you_ talking about, Malfoy?"

"This whole _sex_ thing?!"

Neither of them said a word for a while, still with their arms crossed, wanting to be done with this, but neither willing to make the first move that would get them out of it. Scorpius kept thinking how he could be doing ten million better things than sitting here, wasting time; Ifrin, on the other hand, was only thinking about how he was dreading this, but he'd want to top! No way in _hell_ was he going to bottom to that _wimp_, Malfoy!

"Fine, I'll do it, then, since you're too insolent to get yourself out of your own ass," Scorpius muttered, almost inaudible to Ifrin.

Which was just as well, since the next thing that Ifrin knew, he was being dis-robed by none other than the person he hated the most at Hogwarts, topping him! What the hell?! Hadn't he just said that he wouldn't let that _goat_ top? Attempting to reverse the situation, Ifrin found himself unable to move under the weight of the heavier body that Malfoy was now possessing (his own, which was so very ironic to him), himself being trapped in the scrawny form that was previously belonging to Malfoy.

For the second time that day, Ifrin found himself tasting the strong mint flavour of Scorpius Malfoy. This time, for whatever bizarre reason he couldn't think of at that particular time, the elder teen found himself thoroughly enjoying it, rather than finding it revolting as he had the last occasion. What had changed since earlier that day? He failed to put his finger on it, as he quickly found himself without pants, his back against the cushions, his abdomen pressed against much warmer flesh than that he was in at the moment. Ifrin had never realized how cold Scorpius' body was until that second in time -- it was as if his and Scorpius' bodies were polar opposites: one was like the winter snow that, like the other, warm, comforting fires were built up for during the cold months of the year.

Such a passion rose in the young men's chests, that the next thing they both felt was a sudden jump, as if they'd lost the wind right out of their very lungs (followed by that slight drop of the heart, right before the panic set in -- despite the fact this occasion, there was not enough time for the panic to settle) when falling off a ten story building. Once the feeling was gone, both opened their eyes, finding themselves swapped in positions, although their bodies had really not switched in actuality. They were both panting heavily, so heavily that their chests seemed a bit constricted from the vast effort, their sweat trailing wet tracks on their faces and chests and over the rest of their bodies, finally unable to resist the pull of gravity, falling down into the clothes they had discarded and the coach they were pressed against.

All they could feel -- following that overwhelming sense of accomplishment that came along with the physical trembling associated, most often, to the rush of pleasure sweeping over them -- was the heat of their bodies still pressed, in exhaustion, against each other.

At least their initial problem was fixed, but what about this new one that rose out of the ashes of the old: the very notion that both of them, for whatever reason, could no longer find themselves living without the other?

_**Completus est.**_


End file.
